The 'distasteful' part of my story's second chapter is something I feel requires some minute changes. Although it does well in aiding the characterizing of my heroines (partially), I have had a rather shaky feeling with how it seems to not fit as well with the events in the town as I would like. I have one character (Cindy) revealing a rather immature and embarrassing desire, while the event in question also shows the maturity of the older sister. I know that the situation fits well for the characters, but how everything happens for the two young women might be a tad too awkward. All together I may have to scrap the entire scene, though as I have stated earlier, both women are given a more distinct personality (or at least I think that is what I mean).
Hopefully I can sort out my thoughts on this after I present it to the Golden Rejects this Wednesday. Well, until later!
C. Olson
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